Monday, October 19, 2009

OMG! The Booger-Picking Politician's Still Around?!?

Just to be clear: This is a post about an alleged incident (of which we have no doubt of its actual occurrence, but cannot prove due to lack of 'evidence'). Indeed, under-reported incidents as the one described below should be made into a crime against humanity...

That is, nose picking in public places.

It's an insidious practice that should be outlawed in every civilized land. In fact, there should be a U.N. resolution adopted, for booger-picking in public is a form of torture to all those who have had to witness the horrendous spectacle.

In fact, public booger-picking is so vile and reprehensible that, if its victims do not receive professional treatment (usually through hypnosis), its victims who have witnessed booger-picking can often be emotionally scarred for life and may even require years of therapy to overcome the trauma.

Case in point:

It was around 1990 in Arizona and a gubernatorial election was taking place between a Republican named Fife Symington and a Democrat named Terry Goddard.

Although the Republican ultimately won the election (later to be ousted amid corruption allegations), it was during the campaign that the Democrat Goddard attended a Billy Joel concert at an open-seating venue.

Although he was a minor celebrity and well-known politician, apparently Mr. Goddard felt that his actions in public would go unnoticed. Either that, or he just didn't care who saw him commit a crime of which there can be no statute of limitations--that of picking his booger-infested nose in public.

The term 'gross' is an understatement.

Now, being that this booger-picking incident is nearly two decades old, other witnesses are far and few between, but it (allegedly) happened according to at least one eye-witness account. However, the evidence could have been eaten for all we know.

As a result of this scarring incident, you can imagine our shock when we saw Terry Goddard's name come up on a post from AZCentral.com, stating that Goddard is ahead of GOP hopefuls in a poll.

According to the post, not only is Goddard running for governor again, he is now Arizona's Attorney General! Imagine, a booger-picker enforcing the laws of the Grand Canyon State!

Needless to say, flashbacks and bad imagery flooded the consciousness when reading that post.

Indeed, only moments ago, when asking the question: Do you remember Terry Goddard?

The response from the floor was: You mean the nose-picker?

Can you see why booger-picking in public should be deemed a crime?

To know that a booger-picker is still roaming the streets after so many years is shocking! The Shame! The Injustice of it all!
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